Sunday, September 24, 2006

---All Men are pigs!!!

Well, unless they have alleged power and can make me look good that is….

Before I could address this, I had to wait for the chaotic blog wars to die down. My reason? I like to stir shit up with the femikooks as often as I can.

So here is a tale. A tale of southern fried chicken in Harlem, ex Presidents, liberals, femikooks, alleged racism, “beautiful blue eyes”, and cat fights. So sit back, get a couple of beers and relax… this get’s long-winded….

Oops, forgot boobies! Yes, boobies!

But first, let’s set the stage a little shall we?

TMOTS: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi The Man On The Street, this is Senator Joseph Biden…”

TMOTS: “Really…”

Biden: “Yes, TMOTS.” “May I call you TMOTS?”

TMOTS: “Sure, everyone else does…”

Biden: “Let me get to the point of my call….”

TMOTS: “Please do.”

Biden: “I am having a gathering of sorts, a luncheon if you will and I would like you to be a participant.”

TMOTS: “Uhm, ok.”

Biden: “You see, I have been invited to chair a luncheon discussion group in Harlem NY…..

TMOTS: “Harlem? As in Harlem NY?”

Biden: “…er, yes. Anyhow, I was wondering if you’d be available to join our little get together on the 17th?”

TMOTS: “Why would you want me there?”

Biden: “Well, you see David Duke is setting this up…


Biden: “Yes… Let me explain TMOTS.” “David would like to get a group of like minded thinkers of the blogophere to discuss….

TMOTS: “Wait!” You want me, to come to a dinner hosted by David Duke, where you are the guest of honor?”

Biden: “Yes. We would……

TMOTS: “..and you think that I am liken to you and David Duke?”

Biden: “Well, you do publish a blog that speaks from the white male point of view and we think….”

TMOTS: “Whoa! Wait a minute there Joey boy!” I do in fact speak from the white male prospective, this is true. But to insinuate that I would have any similarities to YOU or David is ridiculous!”

Biden: “I just thought…….”

TMOTS: No, you didn’t think there Joey. You see, I recall what you did to ALL MEN in 2000. I recall what you pushed through congress and the Presidency on two separate administrations…. I recall what VAWA stands for. And I am not it. As for David; Sure I do in fact believe that the EEOC and set aside laws for people of color are wrong. But I most certainly do not believe as Mr. Duke does when it comes to blacks in America.”

Biden: “But TMOTS, you are “one if us.”

TMOTS: “No, I am me. I believe in fairness for all, not just certain groups. I believe in the constitution that states fairness and equality for ALL, not just protected classes. You sir have bastardized what it means to be white and male in this country. You do not represent me, nor do you represent men or whites…. In the past, you have committed exactly what your ridiculous laws were claiming to fix. No Joey boy, you two do not think like me or most of the white males in this country. Good day sir!”

Now, if this were a real conversation… What it wasn’t? Oh wait, nope, it wasn’t. Ah well, let’s take a look anyhow ok? You see, although Mr. Biden is a powerful man, and no doubt would put me on the elite list just by being seen with him, I have my principles. I would no less sell my soul to the devil than play with a person that represents all that I fight against.

No different is the feminist writer wannabe who would sit and rub elbows with a KNOWN liar, adulterer, and sexual harasser... Just for starters. You see, supposedly feminists are against “the man”, the patriarchy ™, and the evil that men do like rape, oppression, and using ones power to get da poon tang. But I digress.

That is where the crux of this little ditty comes in. You see, Jessica over at Feministing had the “extreme pleasure” of doing just that. She sat at a luncheon with an elite few bloggers, all of the severe left of course, with none other than William Jefferson Clinton. That’s right folks! Ole Jessie-poo got to sit with Billy-bob and chit-chat about god knows what.

Actually, just what in Sam hell COULD they have talked about? Women’s rights? Nope. He has used his power to get pussy. Equality for all? Nope. Only whites were present at this little shin-dig. But wait! It was held in Harlem. You all know Harlem right? A predominantly BLACK and LATINO city in New York. Yea, THAT Harlem. Ah well, they did have fried chicken though. OOPS! That was a racial something-or-other wasn’t it. Oh well, so sue me.

And for your visual enjoyment, here is the crew in all its glorious wonderfulness! Please note that there are two pictures. And notice also, that there are subtle differences as well as similarities… But we’ll get back to that later, mmkay?

Ahhh, can you say “Photo op!? Sure, I knew you could! Who would have thought that such a wondrous collection of bloggers could be had - all in the same room! With none other than the king of hypocrisy, the mangina himself, Billy-bob Clinton! WOW! I have goose bumps! I think I might even have a hard on, but I am not sure. Can you imagine? Being in the same room with such a great sexual har… er man? Me neither! Can you see Jessica just oozing at the crotch, basking in the glory of such greatness? I think she might even be quivering at the knees too! Reminds me of the time that I met Andrea Dorkin… Nope, that was dry heaves; never mind.

Oh, wait, I’m sorry. You don’t know which one is Jessica? Take a wild guess. There ya go, I knew you could. That’s right. The one in the middle with the true blue wonder bra push-up stance that only a woman of babalicious status or a model could pull off. Can you just hear the song in your head? “I’m a model you know what I mean, when ah do mah little dance on the catwalk… yea the catwalk…” Can you hear it? Yea baby! That’s gold!

See? I told you this gets long-winded….. Stay with me though, it gets better!

So Jessica, all weak in the knees, wet in the crotch, and a twinkle in her eye comes (or is that cums) home and immediately blogs about her near miss with fame, power and status. And in true form of the feministing crew, they all gather their wagons and bask in Jessica’s greatness. Ahhh, all is right with the world. Once again, all the little people are green with envy at her obvious superiority over them. Feminists far and wide are now all singing the praises of Jessica Valenti, the EXECUTIVE EDITOR of Feministing, the owner of the prestigious Masters degree in Women and Gender Studies. WOW! Can you smell it? Can you feel it? That there is some good ole fashioned power right there!

Sorry. I got caught up in the moment for a second. So anyhow, while the minutes pass, and all the a-listers at feministing are gushing over Jessica, someone else has noticed her brush with fame. A fellow feminist! Surely she will bask in Jessica’s greatness as well, right? OOP! Guess not.

You see, over at Ann Althouse's blog, Ann has a slightly different take on ole Jessie’s brush with fame. While everyone is touting the envy-line, Ann is strumming a different tune. You see, Ann is one of those “real feminists”. You know the ones that tow the femi-line no matter what. No matter the hypocrisy, the silliness, the blatant bigotry, or even the consequences. Ann is a true feminist. I can respect that. She sticks to her guns, elitist or not.

Ann essentially gets on her femiStep and begins to berate Jessica because she feels that Jessica is a sellout. She is in the presence of a known sexual harasser, and appears to be posing somewhat seductively or sheepishly girly (not sure), propelling her special women only card, the BOOBIES! Yes, all this fervor is about the boobies! How could a feminist allow herself to be photographed in an obviously male appealing pose? How could a feminist be so… Hmmm what’s the word I need here? Patriarchal ™! She is the only one of the group that is actually POSING in a cutesy manor. GASP! Girlishly! Naughty, naughty Jessica.

So true to form, all the manginas and femikooks comes to poor widow Jessica, the victim’s, aid. Turning what Ann was pointing out into the typical women making mean about another woman’s appearance. Nothing could be further from the truth, but in true FemiSpeak, if you can’t argue a point, change it. Ann was merely stating that Jessica is a sellout. She is not commenting on her looks per ce. Sure, she mentions the obvious push-up bra and the come hither model style stance versus everyone else in the photo. But that isn’t her point. Even a male pig such as myself could see what Ann was referring to. Look at the two pictures again. Notice the arched back, the half turn stance, the left foot in front of the right to enhance her figure. Yes Jessica that is what and why models do that. It enhances their figure and enhances their hips and curves. But of course, you know that didn’t you Jessica.

So Jessica gets wind of Ann’s comments and of course, goes right for the ‘twist it to make Ann look bad’ formula. You know it. You’ve all see it a million times. So instead of me explaining the conversation, I decided to just show it to you. Mind you, I am not going to make this already long bit even longer by posting all of it… just the juice parts… hehehehe

Jessica Feministing returns and says:
It's a picture; people pose. And I'm not sure I understand your logic anyway. If I "pose" for a picture (as opposed to sulking and hunching over?) then I deserve to be judged for my looks? I don't see anyone talking shit about the other bloggers smiling pretty for the camera.

Ann States:
Provoked, I decide to actually give her a small dose of the kind of judgment for brains she seems to demanding:

Jessica, I'm not judging you by your looks. (Don't flatter yourself.) I'm judging you by your apparent behavior. It's not about the smiling, but the three-quarter pose and related posturing, the sort of thing people razz Katherine Harris about. I really don't know why people who care about feminism don't have any edge against Clinton for the harm he did to the cause of taking sexual harassment seriously, and posing in front of him like that irks me, as a feminist. So don't assume you're the one representing feminist values here. Whatever you call your blog....

Making this colloquy into this new blog post, I actually click over to Jessica's blog, and what the hell? The banner displays silhouettes of women with big breasts (the kind that Thelma and Louise get pissed off at when they're seen on truck mudflaps). She's got an ad in the sidebar for one of her own products, which is a tank top with the same breasty silhouette, stretched over the breasts of a model. And one of
the top posts is a big closeup on breasts.Sooooo... apparently, Jessica writes one of those blogs that are all about using breasts for extra attention. Then, when she goes to meet Clinton, she wears a tight knit top that draws attention to her breasts and stands right in front of him and positions herself to make her breasts as obvious as possible?

See? Ann clearly explains what her issue is with this image. But alas, a blog (oh, that’s a different blog, sorry) is about free exchange of ideas and discussions right? Well, only if you tow the correct party line that is, apparently. And said rules apply to movements as well I guess.

Well, if pissing off a fellow femikook isn’t enough, we have an additional spice to add to the mix; the ever-popular racial card. Yep. We all know that liberals, especially those of the feminists flavor are all about equalllleteee don’t we. Well not according to quite a few ‘progressive’ liberal bloggers such as this one (

It seems that a predominant liberal bloggers get-together doesn’t consist of anyone of color. Hmm, as a white male fascist pig, I even noticed this discrepancy. Now why would that be? How is it possible to invite a bunch of liberals to a pow-wow with such a great man (cough – blowjob – cough) and not have one person of color present? Are you kidding me?

Sure, the managed to have a femikook or two, a couple of mangina, an aluminum hat wearer or two, and more than likely a person of choice (read gay) in the mix. But not a one Black or Latino, shoot not even someone with a mixed heritage! As a matter of fact, now that I look again, not even an Asian! Why not add a Muslim and an illegal Mexican to the list to round it out nicely. Nope. Not a one. Ah well, I guess the Arian race is alive and well in Bill & Hitlary’s land.

Anyhow (again), There are many speculations as to why this is. There are, of course in true liberal damage control, many excuses as well. From “well, we invited one but they declined” to “this just the first of many…. Blah blah…” You know the drill. You see, liberals don’t like it when they are called on their faults. Especially when you use their own canned arguments to prove it.

Maybe they just didn’t want people of color present. Maybe they thought that a black person would be insulted if they showed up and was served ‘southern fried chicken’. Maybe they DID IN FACT invite a Black blogger or two and when they discovered that ‘southern fried chicken’ was the chow de jour, they WERE insulted. Ever think of that? Sure, in my little world, I could care less about stereotypes. I happen to like the traditional white male foods like steak & mashed potatoes. But if you’re a liberal, you cannot fight the devil and ignore the stereotypes (perceived or otherwise). So of course, the ‘southern fried chicken’ part would piss at least one Black person off. Tell me I’m wrong.

Or could it be that Hitlary has hired none other than Peter Daou. Yes, you heard correctly. THAT Peter Daou. The one that was just hired by Hitlary for god knows what... You see Peter was in charge of gathering all of these intellectually special folks.

Nope, feminists are not opportunistic… Feminists are not into power and … dare I say, selling out!

At least be consistent Jessica. Swooning over a man that has treated women the way that you claim to be fighting against, is just bad PR. Even for a feminist.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.....


Sunday, September 10, 2006

---Just a little something other than "The Duke Fiasco".

The Passing of a Man’s Man and his Man
The Man On The Street

Mickey, Mike, Velda, & Besty; if you know the names, you know who they are.

It is truly a sad day in my life. Specifically not because the man that essentially created what was once, if not still called ‘the hard-boiled mystery genre’, but because it is two weeks after his death, that I learn of his passing.

When I as younger, I penned my protagonists to the likings of Mike Hammer, Spenser, and Sam Spade. Whenever anyone reads one of my stories, they almost always say that it reads like a Hammer novel. To me, that is the best compliment I could ever receive. I have fulfilled my goal.

One of the highest points of my life was when I was able to meet Mickey, Robert Parker, and Sue Grafton at a Mystery Writers convention years ago in Boston (home of Parker and his alter ego, Spenser). To have these folk’s autographs, to me, are probably the most treasured articles that I own. Mickey signed my first printing hard cover of I, The Jury, and Parker signed my first printing hard cover of The Godwulf Manuscript, his first Spenser novel. I was not able to get Grafton’s autograph, due to lack of time. Now if only I was around to get Agatha (Christie) and Dashille’s (Hammett), I'd have the essence of who I am and whom I mimic my writing style. But, alas, I wasn’t even a twinkle in my father’s eye during their time.

Mickey was a great writer, one of a kind. Sure his stuff was very popular way before I was even born. But I was able to read his stories growing up mainly due to his character's staying power. And even though the mainstream world had pretty much blackballed him during the 70’s for his “violent and sexual content”. His primary character, Mike Hammer was revitalized once again in the 80’s. The reprinting of I, The Jury, his first Hammer novel originally written in the late 40’s, was the pinnacle rebirth of Mike Hammer. Followed by the full compliment of reprints of all the Mike Hammer novels, as well as many compilation hard covers such as Hammer Strikes Again.

Even his goofy personas in the Bud Light commercials were ladened with his tough guy – blonde bombshell – film noir feel. The ending statement of these commercials’ “Ohhhhh Mickey!” by Blondie was atypical for the likes of Mike Hammer’s creator and Mike himself. Who said there ‘aint nothing good come from the 80’s’.

Three versions of his Hammer character were made into television series, with Mickey himself staring on the first version in the 50’s. Stacey Keach took the role in the 80’s. Several TV adaptations from his best novels were also made into made-for-TV-movies. In my opinion, they never did Mickey justice. The restraints of television would never allow his (Mike) to be who he really is, as Mickey wrote him. Sadly, today, in 2006, with society the way it is with gender neutrality (read woman = invincible / man = dumbass), we will most likely never see another Mike Hammer episode again. Thus, the second reason for my sorrow. Mike hammer, by today’s ‘rules’ of gender, is a dinosaur. He would never survive, sadly.

Goodbye my Mentor. Goodbye Mike. Dinosaurs or not, I shall miss you both dearly.